And now for the asshole whisky I brought to the whisky nerd reddit meetup (Toronto), Wiser’s Hopped
Why? Well because I’ve had a few people, who upon finding out I was into whisky, react in two ways: 1) They ask me to stop staring at their tits, and 2) They tell me it’s garbage.
But they aren’t writing reviews. And if I’m being 100% honest, I took most of them at their word. So I giggled like a tiny, evil child who controls goats while buying this, knowing it would suck.
But I was wrong. Or was right. See, I made an assumption based on the comments of a few people. And not that it’s a horrible plan, but I review whiskies. I should be going out and trying this.
Even though I’ll hate myself.
So I made 5 other guys hate themselves as well… in a new and different way then mooning people.
So Wiser’s Hopped is Wiser’s Whisky, but then hopped with floral, aromatic hops instead of bitter ones. Hopping whisky is not a new hipster thing, but rather a thing that was used before that has been adopted by hipsters.
Like there’s a fucking difference.
Anyway, hops used to be added to help sanitize the fermentation tanks. Now it’s used to try out something different in whisky.
Which I appreciate. Different things make interesting whiskies. So I’m reviewing this. And others tried it as well. And /u/muaddib99 now has a bottle of it.
So let’s see how it tastes, shall we?
Price: $28.95 (CAD)
Colour: 10YR 7/8
Nose: Hops, caramel, cocoa, Sprite
Yes, hops. Nothing I can really pick out. I’m not a big beer guy, however as I’ve said before, I do like porters and stouts. And this kinda smells like that.
Lots of cocoa in it. The hops aren’t really breaking into anything other than ‘hops’.
Doesn’t smell like whisky. The hops are actually turning me off. Which is for the best because I’m straight and in a room of guys.
Seriously, the deli tray was getting me going, so maybe I should thank J.P. Wiser for the boner killer if I ever meet him.
Taste: Cocoa, vanilla, orange, caramel
This doesn’t taste like whisky.
There, I said it. It doesn’t. It tastes like a really nice Chocolate Liqueur. And you know I mean that because I capitalized it.
Honestly though: This tastes like chocolate. And like I’m suppose to make a chocolate martini with it.
Finish: Lemon, cocoa, cardamon, graham crackers, earth
The finish is still somewhat like chocolate liqueur, but not as much, as I didn’t capitalize it this time.
There’s specs of whisky notes in here, but it’s not really screaming “Whisky” to me. Mostly because it’s inanimate, but seriously, it tastes like a cocoa drink.
Conclusion: This doesn’t smell or taste like whisky. It smells like strong floral beer. And it tastes like chocolate. Which I don’t hate (seriously, I’m a chocolate lover [not in that way (okay, kinda in that way [not the butt stuff though])]).
I can’t really say I hated this. Or it’s super bad. I’ll say that they missed the mark on a whisky. They made something that is something else. So buy if you’re looking for something chocolate-y. Or like the smell of different beers.
World Whisky review #118, Canada review #41, Whisky Network review #582